It was early 2023 when my partner, Evie first mentioned it. Before that I’d never even heard of David Sedaris. But being the intensely voracious reader that she is, Evie hadn’t just heard of him, she’d already read a bunch of his books. So, when she found out that he was on a book tour in Australia, and that he was actually coming to Perth, and that there were actually a few tickets left – she pleaded with me to come along. Being the wonderful and supportive boyfriend that I am, I didn’t make any fuss about going. I didn’t bemoan having to leave the house. I didn’t try to weasel my way out of it. And I certainly didn’t try to use my agreement to go as some sort of bargaining chip that would allow me to get something I wanted in return. Instead, when my dearest asked, I immediately and admirably said, “of course, my love, anything for you”.
Fast forward a week, and we were all dolled up and looking fabulous as we headed to the event. Walking towards the venue I felt a strange sense of excited curiosity. This was the first time I’d ever been to a book reading. I’d only started writing a few years prior, and so the world that came with it was new to me. Hitherto, I’d been a weed-smoking, skateboard-pushing, gyprock-flushing shithead who spent his time in less than savory places. But now… Now, I was walking into the high-ceilinged, lavishly carpeted Regal Theatre to spend a night surrounded by the types of well-to-do people who attend book readings for leisure.
The scene was unlike anything I was used to. The walls were lined with art. The stairs had gold-painted balustrading’s. The people were walking around with half-filled champagne glasses and cheese board platters. And oh-my-God the clothing. There were men there wearing blazers, bowties, cufflinks, and even those fancy leather shoes that when polished just right glisten in the sun. Looking down at my best pair of skate-shoes, I suddenly felt out of place. “This is some highbrow stuff” I said to Evie, who being much more cultured than me fitted in perfectly. Realising I was out of my element, Evie grabbed my hand and whisked me through this sea of high society directly to our seats in the nosebleed section.
As the lights dimmed and the crowd hushed, Sedaris appeared. Making his way to the lectern in the middle of the stage, he began with a joke about Perth as he sorted through the papers in front of him. There is a light-heartedness that emanates through his writing, which was immediately evident in the way he carried himself. He was charismatic, composed, and whimsical. As if speaking to a group of friends, he started telling us some impromptu story about the awkward interaction he’d had with the person who’d checked him into his hotel room the night before. Lapping up every word, the audience fell into the palm of Sedaris hand. And for the next two hours, that’s where we stayed.
The further into the show we went the more my belly ached as Sedaris delivered one side-splitting story after another. Each was jam-packed with amusing and witty observations, all of which gave you the sense that if you and Sedaris chatted in person, you’d get along great. His writing, and the way he delivered it, had this way of convincing you that he was a common man, with common thoughts. Truly one of the people. However, this was thrown into question when the Q-and-A began. Sedaris started talking about how he appreciated the relaxed attitude people in Australia had when it came to talking about money. Seizing the opportunity some larrikin in the crowd yelled out; “Tell us how much money you made last year, then?” Chuckling at this rather inappropriate question, Sedaris paused for a moment before saying; “Four million dollars”. This comment surprised the crowd both in its candor and its fiscal heft. Sedaris was quick to note that a lot of that money came from doing a gig with the well-known series MasterClass and that he’d “had a good year”. But from then on, any illusions that the man standing before us was the same as us common folk – had been shattered.
After the show, there was an option to do a meet and greet with Sedaris. Being averse to waiting in lines, small-talk, and all forms of social interaction – I did not want to do this. But my darling did. This meant it was my turn to grab Evie’s hand and whisk her through this sea of high society. Bowling over old ladies, stepping on babies, and leaving hipsters in my wake I charged through this well-mannered crowd like a rugby player in a scrum so that we wouldn’t end up at the back of the line that was about to form. My indomitable speed and athleticism landed us only a few people back from the very front of the line – a line which ended up snaking out the door and down the street.
After the few people who’d beaten us to the very front of the line had had their moment with Sedaris, it was our turn. As Sedaris engaged us in small talk, he reached out to grab the book Evie had brought along to be signed. Opening the book to the front page, Sedaris stopped, his black Sharpie hovering over the spot where he was about to sign. That’s when we saw it: the message and accompanying signature Sedaris had written to the previous owner of this book at some earlier date. Evie went white. She’d brought along a secondhand book that Sedaris had already signed. I felt for Evie in that moment. She had been so excited to meet this man and now she was standing in front of him overcome with embarrassment. For a second, Sedaris seemed somewhat confused, but with the same quick-wit and charisma he exhibited on stage, he quickly put Evie at ease by making a joke about the previous owner’s name – Japper’s. He then crossed out the old name. Asked Evie her name. And proceeded to draw a picture with an accompanying message, which made light of the whole situation.
Even though he had hundreds of eager fans waiting to meet him – Sedaris was gracious enough to chat with us for a few more minutes. He asked us if we liked the show, if we’d been to any of his previous shows, and if we were a couple. It also came out that Evie and I are writers, something which seemed to genuinely interest the master wordsmith. After asking us what we were writing, Sedaris leant back in his chair and attentively nodded along while Evie and I took turns bumbling our way through nervous explanations of what we were working on. Realising that his question had hurled me into a stammering-stuttering-seizure that left me unable to form intelligible sentences, he quickly saved me from myself by interjecting another question.
“Do you two go to a writer’s group?”
“No, not at the moment” we replied.
Responding in the way only he could, Sedaris said:
“That might be something worth considering… I learnt a lot about what not to do by going to those things.”
With that, Sedaris smiled, we laughed, and the next group of eager fans walked up to meet the star author. As Evie and I stumbled out of the venue and onto the street, Evie said:
“You know, we really should find a writers club to go to.”
Nodding, I couldn’t help but add: “If we do find one, you know what I’m gonna have to write about?”
“What?” Evie asked raising her eyebrow, as if she knew some smart-ass comment was coming her way.
“How funny it is that you, bringing Sedaris a book he’d already signed, was strangely similar to the awkward and humorous situations that he, himself writes about.”
Failing to see the humor, Evie just stared at me, unimpressed.
And that, my friends, is the story of how Evie and I came to join the Vic Park Writer’s Club.
“Being the wonderful and supportive boyfriend that I am, I didn’t make any fuss about going. I didn’t bemoan having to leave the house. I didn’t try to weasel my way out of it. And I certainly didn’t try to use my agreement to go as some sort of bargaining chip that would allow me to get something I wanted in return. Instead, when my dearest asked, I immediately and admirably said, “of course, my love, anything for you”.”
You make me smile more than any other writer I read, Michael! And now I want to hear stories about the “ Vic Park Writer’s Club.”
I’m also enjoying the synchronicity of the fact that I’m reading this the eve before I fly back to the Northern hemisphere, so it seems that I read your writing upon arrival in, and departure from oz😁
The sense of a class divide between you and the world inside that theater really came through. My mom and I share tickets to see touring Broadway musicals, and I find myself feeling underdressed in even professional attire—there’s just an air there. When you invoked it here, I wasn’t where it might lead, but the interaction with Sedaris brought it to a head. I love the new inscription for both the grace and poise it demonstrates in the author and because it led to this story.
I’ll echo Camilla above and add that I too would be interested in hearing about your writers group experience when it suits your storytelling. That this warm piece might also be an origin story for your writing would only add to the experience.