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Michael Steele's avatar

There’s a lot to love here, but something that immediately stood out was how your syntax led me into an appropriate rhythm. While you go-go-go through every inch of the park, you’ve got long lists with rich clauses between the commas, such that I felt out of breath as I read along. On the flip side, when you sat down, you modulated the rhythm into these languid, beautiful observational sentences. I found myself breathing slowly automatically. This is chock full of awesome detail and the figurative language at the beginning left me grinning, but you use those details to awesome effect in different sections. The playful dialogue is great, too—including the final line when your stillness becomes a shared stillness.

Like you, I tend to be a go-go-go-er. My idea of relaxing is to walk eight miles, write a 4,000 word essay, or watch a challenging, heart-shredding movie. I’m walking and upright all day, so doing is the path of least resistance. This month, I’ve tried to give myself a weekly moment to soak my feet in this little bubble tub I found, and I’ve found it difficult to make into a habit. I found this really encouraging in the same way your endorsement of yoga was in “Torn in Two”. Pausing feels dangerous to me, like a squandered opportunity, but you make a compelling argument in its favor.

(Also in favor of Pemberton. Seriously, you deserve a sponsorship check for how well you sold the place.)

Long story short: fantastic read, as a piece of writing and a persuasive endorsement of not-doing sometimes.

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April R. Holmes's avatar

Omg Evie is the Master of Persuasion - you didn't stand a chance in that battle! Future battles don't look good for you either. Kudos to her for keeping up with you but also helping you reach a place of balance. You got me on this post at the title - what a great story. Loved it.

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